HE DELAYS GETTING DRESSED

My four-year-old son, David, must arrive to Kinder-garden at eight o’clock. But he does not seem to understand that he must get dressed and eat breakfast on time. So, I end up dressing him myself or yelling at him to do it. I know he is old enough to get dressed and I also know that both methods are wrong. But what should I do?

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WHY CHILDREN DELAY WHEN GETTING READY

You are right when saying that your child should dress by himself and this should not be a reason to be struggling daily. Instead, you should try rewarding your child’s good behavior. 

It is totally understandable that you feel tense and frustrated when you cannot find the way to encourage your child to get ready by himself and in a timely manner.

The first thing you should know is that children, at this age, have no concept of time, nor about social organization, nor punctuality. They must learn about it, but it just needs some time.

In this matter, as in many others, it is essential that rewards are properly administered. There are many types of rewards: material, such as a toy; symbolic, such as a little star, a good grade or a medal; social: a simile or a hug; and it could be also an activity like dancing, going for an ice cream, playing or watching TV. Rewards are an extraordinarily strong educative instrument, if you know how to use them (Sundel and Stone Sundel, 1981).

HOW TO COPE WITH CHILDREN’S DELAY IN GETTING READY

Your child should go to bed early to get the ten hours of sleep he needs, this is essential. Also, it is particularly important to discuss and establish with him the reward he will obtain when he gets up, eats breakfast, and gets dressed on time. In the case the reward were too expensive, he should obtain some “reward points” or “tokens” each day in order to reach enough “tokens” to be exchanged for the final reward. This method is called: “Token Economy”.

When using the Token Economy method, it is extremely important to specify the way to obtain a token, the number of tokens required to obtain a reward, the moment for the exchange and others. This procedure is successful only when all requisites are followed to the letter

In short, it is necessary to set a prize that your child likes and that you are able to provide. This must be conditioned to the fulfillment of the agreed, which must be thoroughly registered.

It is highly recommended to make small demands at the beginning, so that the child is more likely to achieve them, and then the demands can be gradually increased; but in no case should the prize be given if the child did not comply with the demands, nor should it stop when he has done so.  The requirement for this procedure to be successful is to carry it out accurately.

In my book WHAT DO I DO NOW? NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A MOM!  You will find this and 26 other common problems in children from birth to 12 years old. Regarding this specific issue of the delay in getting dressed, you can review What should I do if my child takes too long getting ready for school?, What can I do to stop my daughter from leaving her toys all over the house?, Developing habits through token economy and Reinforcing behaviors.

You can also check in this Blog To reinforce children and Educate; or visit Facebook Urquia Larralde (psykia), Instagram @psykia20 and Twitter @psykia20. I appreciate any comments, questions, suggestions, or constructive criticism that you want to make through psykia20@gmail.com or by WhatsApp: +58 414 929 1676. They are welcome and I will gladly answer them. 

BIBLIOGRAPHIC REFERENCE:

Sundel y Stone Sundel (1981): Modificación de Conducta Humana, Publisher Limusa, México.