It is not uncommon for couples to have a second child when the oldest child is about three years old. At this age the child is still very dependent and up to that point has had the experience of having been the sole focus of parental attention. The baby will require a lot of care an attention, it is normal for feeelings of jealousy to appear. But, in this matter as in so many others, the issue will become a serious problem only when it is mishandled. WHAT WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT CHILDREN’S JEALOUSY Jealousy can show in many…
On a previous entry (Developing assertive responses) we talked about assertiveness, what it consists of, how it is learned in childhood, according to the education we had and how we could relearn it, if said education did not make the development of this skill smooth enough. This time we would like to mention other aspects, such as who needs to develop it, what are the disadvantages of not having it and the different types of assertive responses. People who need to develop it are those who are unable to exercise a healthy sociability, such as: 1. Those who have…
Many times we have heard women complain about excessive work, when it comes to combining work outside and work at home. Sometimes attributing this fact to male chauvinism, feeling like victims and perceiving the issue as a fatality. But regardless of what may or may not be true about this issue. Have these ladies wondered that perhaps they are, at least in part, responsible for the inequitable distribution of domestic work? WHAT WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ENCOURAGING COLLABORATION Housework: sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, cleaning and similar chores are often unrewarding, mainly because they are monotonous and repetitive. Only the housewife’s…
I have often heard, as an excuse for spanking a child: “He will not be traumatized by it”; but let us think a little, my friend reader. As parents, is it right to think that is enough that our children are not traumatized? Is this all we hope to achieve through our educational action? Before the discovery of penicillin and vaccines, no one was surprised when a child died. Illness and premature death were seen as painful but inevitable events. They were God’s or nature’s “plans”, and all that remained was resignation. Today, at least in countries and social…
By crying, a baby expresses her or his desires, pains, discomforts, so that the parents can pay attention to her or him and satisfy the baby´s needs. The baby must learn, however, that he or she cannot achieve everything he or she wants, and especially not that way. Sometimes it happens that a small child, two years old for example, after getting used to going alone to bed, no longer wants to continue the previous habit of falling asleep alone after an illness in which we have seen the need, as well as the desire, to pamper the child…
In another chapter (I WANT MY CHILDREN TO BE HAPPY II) I talked about the principles of the practice of parenthood, based on Positive Psychology, and three techniques to increase positive emotions. In this chapter I propose to mention three other procedures that have the same purpose. HOW TO INCREASE POSITIVE EMOTIONS The three techniques to increase positivity in children, which we will talk about here, are: the management of praise and punishment, the avoidance of sibling rivalry and the games proposed by Seligman (2011) that parents can play together with their children, before going to bed. Praise and…
With the advent of the mobile phone, tablet, computer and video games, in addition to the now old television, many children become addicted, that is: they make excessive use of some of these instruments in a way that hinders their participation in fundamental social and family activities, as well as their integral development. Some parents, with good reason, worry when they see that their children are paying too much attention to these devices. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT CHILDHOOD TECHNO ADDICTION Sometimes we parents, given our various occupations and wanting to see our children entertained, allow, and even induce, our…
In this chapter I propose to point out the three principles of the practice of parenthood arising from Positive Psychology and three of the various techniques to increase positive emotions (Seligman, 2011). In a future text (I WANT MY CHILDREN TO BE HAPPY III), I will talk about three other techniques. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT THE PRINCIPLES OF POSITIVE EMOTIONS Through the application of these principles, children obtain: A psycho-biological bank account: “Positive emotions expand and develop the intellectual, social and physical resources that your children will have at their disposal in adult life” (p. 310). When the mother…
How many times have we observed situations in which adults are clearly disturbed by a death, or other unfortunate event that has occurred, and it seems to us that children are not affected by the event? We may wonder if it is convenient to talk about the subject with them, and it is likely that we often choose to ´leave them alone`, in the vain hope that it is not actually hurting them. Is that the right thing to do? WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT CHILDHOOD PAIN IN THE FACE OF DEATH It is true that children do not usually…
In a private school in Caracas, two female teenagers kissed each other on the mouth. The institution did not allow them to register for the new school term. It is easy to suppose that the argument was that the “exemplary punishment ensures that events like this one are not repeated.” But one wonders: Is marking these girls with such a precedent and sanction, an act of pedagogy? I know the school and its policies because I studied there; so I am inclined to believe that rather than taking into consideration the health of adolescents, what is being protected is…