On a previous entry (Developing assertive responses) we talked about assertiveness, what it consists of, how it is learned in childhood, according to the education we had and how we could relearn it, if said education did not make the development of this skill smooth enough. This time we would like to mention other aspects, such as who needs to develop it, what are the disadvantages of not having it and the different types of assertive responses. People who need to develop it are those who are unable to exercise a healthy sociability, such as: 1. Those who have…
Learning by observing others, also present in many animals, opens up to the human being an enormous, quick way of gaining information about endless things, in addition to acquiring values and attitudes, as well as ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. Recognizing this highlights the value of example as a powerful method of teaching, which has been recognized since time immemorial and which contemporary psychology has done nothing but corroborate. The example or modeling can be direct, through parents, family members, teachers, friends, and anyone who interacts with children. It can also be indirect through books, movies, television, and…
Assertiveness consists of expressing personal opinions, feelings and needs in a socially acceptable way, as well as defending our rights and respecting those of others. It also includes the full exercise of our social relations, whether recreational, confrontational or directive, in both friendly and hostile circumstances. As can be seen, assertiveness consists of finding an adequate balance between your claim and personal expression, while respecting those of other people. Also, in the full exercise of social activities, enjoying or directing them if that is the case, and confronting others when required; regardless of whether the relations are friendly or…
In a previous chapter, School and Emotional Learning I, following M. G. Rincón (2012), we said that schools should not only teach children to count, read and write; they should also educate them emotionally by providing them with intra and interpersonal skills. On that occasion we spoke of the first of these: self-control, stress management and identification of emotions. Among the interpersonal skills, we then commented on personal hygiene, smiling, making eye contact, courtesy and truthfulness; leaving for this opportunity, empathy, communication and conflict resolution. About empathy we can say that after 5 or 6 years, the child begins…
School should not only teach children to read, write and count, but also to relate appropriately to themselves and to others. This is achieved in various schools in Canada, in which children are endowed with intra and interpersonal skills. The experience is related by M. G. Rincón (2012), whom we will follow in this chapter. Training in intrapersonal skills, and this is especially important for the less fortunate, is directed towards self-control, stress management and the identification of emotions. These form the basis for the development of interpersonal skills. INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS. We will mention the following: 1.1 Self-control: Children…
Through the exercise of empathy we can understand another person, their motives and points of view. When we understand them and we show it, that is, when we express in our own words what we perceive to be their thoughts, feelings and fundamental attitudes, that person will most likely feel inclined to trust us with their secrets and internal thoughts, and that will be the basis of a deep communication and an affective relationship of true quality. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT EMPATHY Colloquially empathy is defined as the act of “putting yourself in the shoes” of the other, but…
On another occasion we talked about the need to set limits for children (Establishing rules and limits). Some parents seem to believe that in order to avoid acting in an authoritarian manner, everything must be tolerated. It seems that they believe that giving love and allowing freedom means that you can’t set limits for kids. However, a behavior that harms others, or the child himself, cannot be accepted. After agreeing with him or informing him that he will not be allowed certain conduct, if he repeats it, there are two appropriate procedures to make him comply with that precept:…
When a specific behavior that benefits the perpetrator while hurting others is not reprimanded, we are in fact rewarding it; hence it will be repeated and multiplied. Thus educational punishment is both necessary and unavoidable at home, at school, in all institutions, and in the country. In this blog we have mentioned countless times that in the home as in any other institution it is absolutely desirable that positive reinforcement as well as an environment where collaboration, mutual acknowledgement and harmony prevail. However, it is not less true that there have to be rules which, if not followed, will…
Who’s not familiar with the smiley faces teachers use frequently to reward children for their good behavior? They love a happy face and it can be a prize in itself; however, the original idea was quite different. On a previous section (To reinforce children) we said that it was necessary to reinforce desirable behavior immediately after the event, as only the proximate rewards, not the distant ones, can have a real influence on behavior. But it can happen that what the child eagerly wants is a costly prize, such as a bicycle. In that case, it’s clear that…
As parents, we should be an enjoyable presence for the children! It’s the first thing we have to do, besides becoming a model worth imitating. Education is first and foremost, self-education. If we can’t win their respect and admiration, as well as their love and joy, we can achieve very little, or nothing at all inasmuch as their education. Just think, dear reader, about someone whom you admire greatly who shows you appreciation and affection. Quite possibly, that someone might exercise some vital influence over you. Imagine, on the contrary, someone for whom you feel no sympathy or respect…