I have often heard, as an excuse for spanking a child: “He will not be traumatized by it”; but let us think a little, my friend reader. As parents, is it right to think that is enough that our children are not traumatized? Is this all we hope to achieve through our educational action? Before the discovery of penicillin and vaccines, no one was surprised when a child died. Illness and premature death were seen as painful but inevitable events. They were God’s or nature’s “plans”, and all that remained was resignation. Today, at least in countries and social…
In a private school in Caracas, two female teenagers kissed each other on the mouth. The institution did not allow them to register for the new school term. It is easy to suppose that the argument was that the “exemplary punishment ensures that events like this one are not repeated.” But one wonders: Is marking these girls with such a precedent and sanction, an act of pedagogy? I know the school and its policies because I studied there; so I am inclined to believe that rather than taking into consideration the health of adolescents, what is being protected is…
According to a fashionable theory, all that we have to do to achieve what we want, is to desire it ardently. That’s the secret! Supposedly, we are sending messages to the universe so that it will arrange things in a way that fulfills our desires. This ‘theory’ claims to be based on quantum physics. The idea is that if a person has a positive attitude and is convinced that he or she will achieve what he or she proposes, the facts are likely to corroborate that expectation; on the other hand, if the person is fearful, moody and thinks…
“I have full confidence that it will be solved ” or: “let’s have positive thinking and you will see how we attract the solution.” These phrases are usually said as consolation, often with a purported predictive character. Phrases like these are intended to solve the problem; they convey the idea that it is practically unnecessary to talk about the matter anymore, since its resolution has already been decreed. HOW FAR THE POWER OF OUR THINKING GOES As so often happens, attributing power to our thoughts seems to be a reaction against a fatalistic vision, which used to make black…
Nowadays, the idea that parents should abstain from trying to influence their children has become very trendy. On a CNN interview to Zigala, that wonderful singer who merged flamenco with our Caribbean music, he said that he didn’t like the fact that his son was a fan of reggaetton-style music. In light of this, the presenter assumed, and in fact stated that the singer would refrain from making any remarks to his son regarding his questionable taste in music. To my great surprise, Zigala, answered: Of course I tell him what I think! I won’t forbid him to listen…
Many, associate psychological action to psychoanalysis and, even worse, psychoanalysis to madness. Psychological action, on the contrary, is present in our lives practically from the moment we open our eyes until we close them. It is present in every interaction with other people, either directly, in our personal relationships, or indirectly, through television, books, and social media. In these interactions we could find an encouragement to follow the rules or to violate them, to be kind or hostile to others, to be persistent in our goals or to become indolent, and so on. It will be argued that everyone…
After having written the book, WHAT DO I DO NOW? NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A MOM! I came to the conclusion that educating our children consists of doing three fundamental things: To become a rewarding presence to them, and a model worthy to be imitated, To give attention, understanding, respect and love, versus momentarily suppressing them, for the sake of naughtiness. To administer rewards or punishments based on principles and rules previously considered This covers much of what needs to be done, but of course this is easier said than done. The first task is essential,…
Traditionally, psychology has followed in good measure, the medical model; that is to say, if someone has a “psychological problem” he is supposed to visit the doctor’s office of a psychologist or psychiatrist and tell him his “problem”, while the doctor analyses him trying to get to a precise diagnosis of his ‘pathology’, to determine the right treatment. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT THE REACH AND SCOPE OF PSYCHOLOGY The notion that “only” in the doctor’s office, and in that way, a good influence over conduct, feelings and thoughts of a person can be inflicted, is completely wrong. Actually we…
Working on some audios for radio, I used the following slogan: “Children need discipline with love”. It was interesting and even funny to see people’s reactions, a lady questioned the slogan and told me if I wanted to discipline children like puppies. Somebody else, instead, seemed to agree with the discipline part of it, but he disagreed with the idea of love. It seems that only a few people understand, not only that both aspects are necessary, but that they are not contradictory. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE In the traditional view it was thought that human…
Should we apply a definitive influence on our children, or refrain from doing it so they make their own decisions? A pure “one self” even exist that can develop independently from the medium? Is it really possible to stop exerting a strong influence on our children? If such were the case, wouldn’t it be others who would do it without so much scruple? WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT TEACHING BY EXAMPLE My opinion on this matter is very clear: You have the right and the duty to exert the best influence on your children. It is true that our babies…