When we talked about the development of good habits, we mentioned that parents had to be very systematic and rigorous when granting rewards, because habits are exceedingly hard to modify. How often have we made a resolution to exercise weekly, or to avoid eating some particular food, or to stop smoking, etc. only to fail at our intent? Sometimes we even manage to do it, only to go back to our routine after a short period of time. I don’t mean to imply it’s impossible; rather, I want to emphasize the need to be very precise when granting rewards.…
Parents love having orderly children who put their toys away, and do their homework on their neat desks. On the contrary, when children are disorderly and leave everything strewn about the house, parents feel exhausted and unhappy. Parents tend to attribute such behavior to purported innate tendencies in the child. We often hear someone saying, he ‘turned out’ like his father, mother, or grandmother, etc.; this is simply not true. Those habits were learned, albeit it could also be due to the child’s own tendencies making him turn towards one or the other orderly/disorderly behavior of the parents who…
Although sometimes it is necessary to apply punishment to children, the best educational method is the use of rewards. Rewards must prevail in a good educational context. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT REWARDS FOR CHILDREN It is the opinion of several people that parents must not reward children after they have completed their duty, or they will become too mercantilists. The only reward must be the satisfaction for their duty. Bandura (1987) satirizes this opinion by pointing out that those who support it don’t apply the same criteria to their own jobs. In this case they prefer to obtain good…
Is it convenient to punish children? When punishment turns into physical or verbal abuse, or disqualification, expression of anger and retaliation, it is absolutely discouraged. But what we call here educational punishment is of inescapable application in certain occasions. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT EDUCATIONAL PUNISHMENT Educational punishment must be applied only and whenever there is a need to reduce or eliminate behavior that is harmful to the child himself or to those around him (Sundel and Stone Sundel, 1981). Suppose, for example, that the older sibling hits the youngest one. Can he be allowed to do it? Of course…