SHE REFUSES TO EAT
I have a two-year-old girl I am worried sick due to her lack of appetite. When I take her to the pediatrician I end up even more nervous, because he tells me that child malnutrition is dangerous and that I must help her develop good eating habits.
However, I must not force her to eat, because it would increase her lack of appetite. He concludes by saying that I should not be nervous, of course! (Saying it is just so easy!)
Although, it is extremely difficult for me not forcing her to eat when I have been told of the serious consequences of her lack of appetite. I try to be calm, take a deep breath and say reassuring phrases to myself. I even urge myself not to lose my temper. I use the method of the little plane; I laugh with her and the whole repertoire of procedures widely known and used for these tasks.
But, after 40 minutes of trying to feed Andrea -that’s her name- I see she’s far from having eaten healthy, I lose my patience and start forcing her to eat. At that point she stars crying, then my husband arrives, and suddenly, I am the “bad guy” in the movie.
What You Should Know About Lack of Appetite in Children
I totally understand, if you are told that your girl must be well nourished, that you must promote in your daughter proper eating habits, but she does not want to eat, and you cannot force her. You have good reasons to feel helpless and upset; emotions that both your doctor and your husband expect you to handle, without anyone telling you how to do it. Perhaps you feel desperate when you realize that all your efforts are all useless.
But you are not the only one who is suffering here. Have you thought about how your daughter feels when it is time to eat? Could she be associating food with tension and unpleasant situations that take away her appetite?
How to Deal with Children Loss of Appetite
We may no longer remember how all this started, but it seems both of you are making each other nervous. One thing is certain: it is essential to break this vicious circle.
The first thing to do, if it has not already been done, is to rule out any organic problem with the assistance of your pediatrician. Then the psychological treatment should begin, which consists of teaching your child how to enjoy the food and how to create good eating habits. For this purpose, you will need to do the following:
a) Serve small portions and do not force your child to eat them. If there is food left on the plate, it should be removed without demanding or imposing anything on the child,
b) Do not allow your child to eat anything between meals. If your child is hungry, he/she must wait for the next meal. You must be very strict about this; if you offer your child something to eat between meals, you will not be able to get him/her to eat properly,
c) Make a routine so that your child eats with the rest of the family, while everyone at the table shows pleasure and satisfaction in eating the food,
d) Eliminate all signs that associate food with unpleasant situations (Bandura, 1987; Millenson, 1976).
In my book WHAT DO I DO NOW? NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A MOM! You will find this and other 26 common problems in children from birth to 12 years of age. Regarding this specific issue of child’s reluctance to eat, you can also review: What should I do if my daughter frequently refuses to eat? Developing habits through immediate reinforcement and Modeling behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.
You can also visit this Blog To reinforce children, or visit Facebook Urquia Larralde (psykia), Instagram @psykia20 and Twitter @psykia20.
I appreciate any comments, questions, suggestions, or constructive criticism that you want to make through psykia20@gmail.com or by WhatsApp: +58 414 929 1676. They are welcome and I will gladly answer them.
BIBLIOGRAPHIC REFERENCE:
Bandura, Albert (1987): Pensamiento y Acción. Fundamentos Sociales, Publisher Martínez Roca, Barcelona, España.
Millenson, J.R. Principios de Análisis Conductual, Trillas, México.
