Through the exercise of empathy we can understand another person, their motives and points of view. When we understand them and we show it, that is, when we express in our own words what we perceive to be their thoughts, feelings and fundamental attitudes, that person will most likely feel inclined to trust us with their secrets and internal thoughts, and that will be the basis of a deep communication and an affective relationship of true quality. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT EMPATHY Colloquially empathy is defined as the act of “putting yourself in the shoes” of the other, but…
After a difficult divorce and a few dates with a ‘friend’, today I am in a stable relationship that seems to have a future. My partner is willing to share with my children but he is introverted, and treats them with cold courtesy; the children are not amused. We have had some friction because of this. He says that I must teach them to behave better, and I think that he should be more communicative with them. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT WINNING OVER CHILDREN Your partner, it seems, is introverted and inexpressive, but as long as he is not…
On another occasion we talked about the need to set limits for children (Establishing rules and limits). Some parents seem to believe that in order to avoid acting in an authoritarian manner, everything must be tolerated. It seems that they believe that giving love and allowing freedom means that you can’t set limits for kids. However, a behavior that harms others, or the child himself, cannot be accepted. After agreeing with him or informing him that he will not be allowed certain conduct, if he repeats it, there are two appropriate procedures to make him comply with that precept:…
Preschoolers don’t usually keep their attention focussed on a single object for long. If they are lucky to have shelves with various toys, they will pick one and play with it for a while, then another and another … The result, of course, will not please the mom or the person who has been working to keep the house tidy. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT TEACHING ORDER TO YOUR PRESCHOOLER We know that at that age they can be taught to be orderly, that they love sound patterns and that we can begin to stimulate reading by associating words and…
“I have full confidence that it will be solved ” or: “let’s have positive thinking and you will see how we attract the solution.” These phrases are usually said as consolation, often with a purported predictive character. Phrases like these are intended to solve the problem; they convey the idea that it is practically unnecessary to talk about the matter anymore, since its resolution has already been decreed. HOW FAR THE POWER OF OUR THINKING GOES As so often happens, attributing power to our thoughts seems to be a reaction against a fatalistic vision, which used to make black…
When parents are told that their child bullies other children at school, we can imagine several reactions, one of them may be to minimize the issue by saying that other children should know how to defend themselves, another reaction could be to experience guilt, shame and perhaps a feeling of helplessness. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT THE CHILD BULLY The bully is a child who usually makes simplistic and definitive judgments about others, such as: “those who don’t fight are cowards”, or “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”. In close relation to this, he frequently…
When a specific behavior that benefits the perpetrator while hurting others is not reprimanded, we are in fact rewarding it; hence it will be repeated and multiplied. Thus educational punishment is both necessary and unavoidable at home, at school, in all institutions, and in the country. In this blog we have mentioned countless times that in the home as in any other institution it is absolutely desirable that positive reinforcement as well as an environment where collaboration, mutual acknowledgement and harmony prevail. However, it is not less true that there have to be rules which, if not followed, will…
I have a ten-year–old son and a girl of three. My daughter becomes totally transfixed when her brother begins to show off his many motor prowess, and my heart starts pounding as soon as I see her trying to imitate him. I immediately try to refrain her and explain to her that she’s still too small and can’t do everything her brother is doing; but by that time she’s so fired up that she pays no attention to me, and just as I had expected, she falls to the ground very hard, hurting herself. My husband insists I make…
Who’s not familiar with the smiley faces teachers use frequently to reward children for their good behavior? They love a happy face and it can be a prize in itself; however, the original idea was quite different. On a previous section (To reinforce children) we said that it was necessary to reinforce desirable behavior immediately after the event, as only the proximate rewards, not the distant ones, can have a real influence on behavior. But it can happen that what the child eagerly wants is a costly prize, such as a bicycle. In that case, it’s clear that…
I hope I’m wrong but I feel my young, ten-year old daughter is being sexually abused. She spends too much time on the Internet, seems too precocious sexually and is having trouble at school. Her father tells me I’m making it up, I hope he’s right, but I have serious doubts… You have every right to worry when you believe your 10-year old daughter is sexually precocious, spends way too much time on the Internet, and is beginning to have trouble at school. WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE IN CHILDREN According to Knobel (2021): ¨Sexual abuse is…