After having written the book, WHAT DO I DO NOW? NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A MOM! I came to the conclusion that educating our children consists of doing three fundamental things: To become a rewarding presence to them, and a model worthy to be imitated, To give attention, understanding, respect and love, versus momentarily suppressing them, for the sake of naughtiness. To administer rewards or punishments based on principles and rules previously considered This covers much of what needs to be done, but of course this is easier said than done. The first task is essential,…
I live in an apartment, a small one at that, and I have a five year old son who doesn’t understand that he can’t play inside the house like he does in the park, where his grandma an I usually take him; even my husband manages to find time from his work to take him, we have to admit that men are learning to be better dads! But sometimes it rains or none of us can go, and in those occasions, Alejandro, that’s my son’s name, starts playing football in the living room. At first, I tell him in…
Traditionally, psychology has followed in good measure, the medical model; that is to say, if someone has a “psychological problem” he is supposed to visit the doctor’s office of a psychologist or psychiatrist and tell him his “problem”, while the doctor analyses him trying to get to a precise diagnosis of his ‘pathology’, to determine the right treatment. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT THE REACH AND SCOPE OF PSYCHOLOGY The notion that “only” in the doctor’s office, and in that way, a good influence over conduct, feelings and thoughts of a person can be inflicted, is completely wrong. Actually we…
Being pregnant and anxiously expecting the birth of her baby, Ana asked herself: – Will I breast or bottle feed him? Until what age? Will I have enough milk? Will I breast feed him every time he wants, or will I follow a schedule? Will I be able to manage my part time job with feeding him? Will my breasts get hurt, like it happened to a girl friend? Or will they sag?… Ana: you’ll ask yourself what will happen to you with what feeding your baby is concerned; and what consequences it will bring. We will try to address…
Working on some audios for radio, I used the following slogan: “Children need discipline with love”. It was interesting and even funny to see people’s reactions, a lady questioned the slogan and told me if I wanted to discipline children like puppies. Somebody else, instead, seemed to agree with the discipline part of it, but he disagreed with the idea of love. It seems that only a few people understand, not only that both aspects are necessary, but that they are not contradictory. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE In the traditional view it was thought that human…
My six year old son has always been a happy child and he never gave me problems. But for the first time I’m seeing him a little irritable. I have the impression that at school they are demanding more than what is convenient; it seems that they are stimulating him to be too competitive. My husband says it is fine, it will allow him to be prepared for the world in which he will live in. A very dear friend told me, on the contrary, that the important thing is not for him to be perfect, but happy and…
Who does not want happiness for their children and themselves? Humanity has always searched for different ways to achieve happiness, some look for wealth, some for peace, and so on… We chase after this so hard that we sometimes miss it all together. Advertisers promise happiness through their merchandise, others take the opposite route advocating the renunciation of material goods. Different religions also offer it to us. In short, there are so many varied and dissimilar proposals that they far exceed the space of this blog. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT HOW TO INCREASE THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR CHILDREN Martin…
Although sometimes it is necessary to apply punishment to children, the best educational method is the use of rewards. Rewards must prevail in a good educational context. WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT REWARDS FOR CHILDREN It is the opinion of several people that parents must not reward children after they have completed their duty, or they will become too mercantilists. The only reward must be the satisfaction for their duty. Bandura (1987) satirizes this opinion by pointing out that those who support it don’t apply the same criteria to their own jobs. In this case they prefer to obtain good…
Should we apply a definitive influence on our children, or refrain from doing it so they make their own decisions? A pure “one self” even exist that can develop independently from the medium? Is it really possible to stop exerting a strong influence on our children? If such were the case, wouldn’t it be others who would do it without so much scruple? WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT TEACHING BY EXAMPLE My opinion on this matter is very clear: You have the right and the duty to exert the best influence on your children. It is true that our babies…
I can’t make my two year old son understand that I can’t buy him all the toys and sweets he wants, and that he cannot take all the toys from other children while visiting their homes. He always has frightful tantrums, which make me very embarrassed. I would like to know how to calm and correct his tantrums by doing it my own way. Sometimes I explain that those toys don’t belong to him, and that I will buy him one at the end of the month or on his birthday. Other times I try to distract him by…